Daddy's Baby

2006-09-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

Still waiting

2006-08-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm losing my mind. It's been two weeks and I feel like I'm going completely crazy. I got a spanking last night for being mouthy but how can I help being grouchy when he's doing this to me? The thing about spankings is that they make the need bigger.

It started as a discussion where I was just telling him I didn't agree with keeping me on restriction for the whole month. I don't really think it's fair because he's just doing it to test me, not as a punishment or anything, and I don't deserve it for anything I did wrong. Anyways, I started out explaining my points but he wasn't really listening, or at least maybe he was listening but I could tell he wasn't going to change his mind no matter what I said and then I got kinda sassy and yelled a little bit and got sarcastic. That's when he took me upstairs and gave me a paddling.

The paddling was bad, bare bottom with the wooden paddle with the holes in it. I screamed my head off and bawled. After he was done he made me go in the corner with my panties down which is SOOO embarrassing, and then he made me go to bed and it wasn't even eight o'clock yet. I felt really sulky but not enough to open my mouth and say anything else to get me spanked again.

Then he went into the office and did some work with his office door open and left the bedroom door open too while I was in bed. I think he was doing that so he could peek and make sure I wans't touching myself in bed which I really really really REALLY wanted to do but I never really do that without his permission because when he caught me doing it one time he gave me a pussy strapping and I never EVER want to have that again.

Well, so August is only two weeks in and I think I'm going to go insane before it ends. If I start posting gibbrish in here you'll know why.

Welcome to August

2006-08-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

Last night Daddy read my blog and he focused on the part that said,

"In fact I think I'd rather have a spanking every day for a month without restriction, than a whole month of restriction where I got no spankings because I was being perfectly well behaved."

After he read that he said that I could have a choice: either a month of restriction or a month of daily spankings. What a horrible choice. I actually cried when he told me I had to pick one because even though I said I would rather have the spankings, a whole month of daily spankings is just a prospect too awful to consider. A month of fun spankings, sexy spankings would be awesome, but that isn't what he's talking about. He's talking about a big old punishment spanking day after day after day for thirty-one days in a row. I thought about it a lot but I kind of knew right away that there was no way I could take 31 spankings. I mean, seriously, if I know I'm going to get spanked on any given day I'm totally nervous and on edge all day long thinking about it. Going through that for a whole month just isn't possible and I wish I wouldn't have said that in the first place.

So of course I ended up telling him that I'd rather have a month of restriction. I am sure that's what he wanted me to say and he smiled when I told him my choice and said he thought it was a good decision and hugged me and kissed me. So why am I so NOT happy about this?

Orgasm restriction isn't something we've done much of in the past. I mean, he always likes to tease me and make me wait until he says I can cum, but that usually just means later in a lovemaking session, not days or weeks or months later. He even lets me masturbate most of the time when I want to. I just have to ask his permission and be honest about it all. No problem. But thirty-one days???? I don't feel like I can do that, seriously.

I told Daddy that I was worried that it would be way too hard to do this and he told me that it was supposed to be hard and it was supposed to be like a test to see if I was obedient and could be trusted. Of course the underlying fact is that I know that if I am not obedient about something he has directly told me to do I will be severely punished.

I feel kind of dumb for being so upset about this. I mean, I know it's not like he's asking me not to eat for a month or something. I can live through it but I just don't want to! I guess it's greedy but I love having orgasms, as many as possible as often as possible! And up until now he's never shown any sign of wanting me to change that.

It's weird how when Daddy tells me that I can't do something I want it way more than I ever did before. Jeez, I mean I just got to cum yesterday and now suddenly since he told me what's happening I feel like I NEED to again right now. This is going to be the longest month ever.

A week and a day

2006-07-31T21:18:00.000-07:00

Eight days, that was how long the restriction lasted and it was really REALLY difficult. Usually Daddy doesn't make me wait so long. Sometimes it seems like a long time when he makes me wait half an hour! He says that I behave better when I'm on restriction and that he would like to try and train me to go longer, and when I asked how long he meant by "longer" he said maybe he would like to see if I could go a whole month. To me that just seems cruel! In fact I think I'd rather have a spanking every day for a month without restriction, than a whole month of restriction where I got no spankings because I was being perfectly well behaved. It made me wonder if it's really true that I behave better when I'm on restriction. Maybe.

Anyway, Daddy finally decided it was time to let me off restriction last night after my bath. He washed me and powdered me and then he gave me lots of kisses and licks and some play-swats that were fun but not owie and then he made me lie still on the bed and told me he would let me cum as long as I didn't move the whole time he was touching me. That was really hard but I kept as still as I could. Every time I shifted even a little bit he would stop kissing my girl parts so it wasn't easy. When I did cum he held my legs still and I know I was LOUD because he laughed at me. Then after he snuggled me for a long time and then put me to bed, but first we talked about his idea of longer restrictions in the future. I told him I didn't like that idea and he said we would talk about it more later. I kind of felt sulky about that idea and I hope he doesn't decide to do it.

Daddy asked me if I trust him and if I ever don't want to be his little girl. And I told him the truth, that sometimes it's really hard because he makes me do things that are difficult, and sometimes really embarrassing and sometimes the spankings are way too painful! But also, the truth is that I love the way it feels to be taken care of even though some parts of it are hard, the whole experience is very very good. Daddy kissed me goodnight and said that he wanted me to remember that last part as much as I could. So if he decides to make me do something I really don't want to do then that is what I will try to focus on.

another maintenance day

2006-07-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

So today I got my maintenance as planned and it wasn't easy. Daddy was upset about the credit card fiasco as well as a couple of other little things mostly to do with acting grown up when I'm supposed to remember that I'm not really grown up with him. With him I'm still a little girl but sometimes I forget.

Anyways, I gotta spanking for the credit card thing, first over his lap with just his hand and then with the wooden spoon. I can't really tell you how much a wooden spoon spanking hurts if you've never had one, but I should say that I really think it's one of the very worst punishments going. The wooden spoon stings so much that when he spanks me with it I totally freak out and panic and scream my head off like I'm being murdered and Daddy has to make sure that all the windows are shut before he gives me one of those kind of spankings. Also when I get a wooden spoon spanking I can't help but thrash around a lot and so Daddy usually has to pin me down with his legs and hold my arms behind my back or else my hands get in the way and my fingers get whacked. It's a weird kind of spanking because it's almost all sting and no "thump" so when it's over my skin burns like crazy and then itches, but the next day there are rarely any marks at all. Sometimes I kinda like the marks, but if I need to be spanked harder with that horrible spoon to get them I think I'll pass. I HATE wooden spoon spankings.

Also today I was in diapers all day which is embarrassing. I really don't like it when I need to pee and Daddy won't let me use the toilet like a grown up. It's embarrassing to sit around in a damp diaper waiting for him to decide to change me and it's embarrassing to get wiped and powdered and all that stuff even though it's still kind of sweet and comforting at the same time. Sometimes being little is super confusing because the stuff I hate is the same stuff I really need to feel safe and happy and loved.

As well as getting the wooden spoon spanking for maintenance and diapers all day I also had to have a training session and that usually means bottom stretching for Daddy so that when he enters me from behind it won't be too difficult. Sooo a training session has to do with his fingers inside my bottom for a bit, and then a small plug for a little while and then the bigger plug at the end for a half hour, and then .... and then Daddy inside me. That isn't always easy but I'm glad he lets me build up to it. It's kind of like having to wear the reminder all night, but more intense. The reminder is a medium size for an extended period of time. Training is a faster graduation from small to bigger that I have to relax for and accept the best I can or else it really hurts.

Another thing is that I am on orgasm control for the weekend which means that I'm not allowed to climax when I want to. So when Daddy is penetrating my bottom I have to stop myself from climaxing even though I really really really want to. A big important rule in our house is that I'm not allowed to masturbate without Daddy's permission and so when I'm on orgasm restriction it means he's not letting me have that pleasure until he decides so. I think he will let me off restriction tomorrow night at the end of the weekend but I'm not positive because he didn't say so. The longest I've ever been on restriction was three weeks and it was SOOOO hard. (I've heard of people who do this for months at a time but I cannot imagine how they do that without going completely berzerk.) I find orgasm restriction really really difficult because after a spanking or a training session or anything like that I always feel like an orgasm is the next natural step. I mean, even though spankings and trainings HURT and are EMBARRASSING and stuff, they also still fill up my tummy and my girl parts with tickly butterflies that want an orgasm to set them free from tickling me. Keeping those butterflies inside me for a long time is really hard. So I'm feeling more than a little bit antsy and I'm hoping this round of restriction doesn't last long.

The good news is that Daddy didn't decide to give me an enema this time, something I always dread and sometimes happens during maintenance. And also the best part was that I didn't have to eat baby food today which he sometimes does when he's trying to teach me about remembering to be little and that makes me feel SICK. So the worst potential parts of maintenance didn't happen, and though the spanking was really really ouchie, it's over. So the only bad part is getting through the night in my diapers and not being allowed to touch myself or climax until he gives me permission. Diapers will be over in the morning and hopefully restriction will be over soon after that.

Looking ahead and Looking back

2006-07-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

Friday at last. I'm glad the weekend is finally here because I'm tired and ready for a break. The only bad thing about weekends is that they're a chance to catch up on punishments that have been missed, maintenance that needs attending to, and maybe just a little bit too much of Daddy's undivided attention.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to get my maintenance and I'm kinda nervous because I haven't had it for awhile while we were on vacation so I'm a little scared it's going to be extra severe to make up for what's been missed. Also I know that Daddy isn't really in a good mood with me right now because I did something dumb. I was checking the VISA statement (we have a joint account) and I saw a charge for something in another city, so I got worried that someone might have stolen our credit card. I called Daddy at work and asked him to look at the online banking and see if he knew what it was. So he looked and said that he didn't know. So I called the bank and had our cards cancelled and now we won't get new ones for a little while until they come in the mail.

Anyways, this was dumb because about an hour later I suddenly figured out what the charge was. It was a UPS charge because I paid the UPS guy with my credit card when he delivered a package that came from that city. Duh. So Daddy isn't exactly happy that he has no credit card and for no good reason. I don't know if that's going to be part of what we talk about tomorrow but I do know that Daddy gets frustrated with my lack of organization when it comes to stuff like money, so I think probably it's going to come up.

Also I got a spanking and a "reminder" last night because I forget to hang up my keys on the key hook by the door. I keep losing my car keys and my house key, and so Daddy finally put up this cute little key holder by the door to hang our keys on so they don't get lost, but I'm having trouble getting used to it. Daddy said there's no "three strikes" on this one. One warning was it, and then the second time I forgot (yesterday) I got a major paddling. And then I had to wear the reminder for the rest of the night. The reminder is my bottom plug and it doesn't feel so good when it stays in for a long time ... but it sure helps you remember stuff. *sigh*

summer holidays

2006-07-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

I didn't write for a long time AGAIN. It's a good thing this isn't on my list of chores or I'd be in trouble all the time!

Daddy and I were away for nearly four weeks because we went on vacation together, our first one for a long long time. We went to Mexico and it was soooo nice. Our hotel was right by the beach and so we went there almost every day to swim and we also did lots of touristy kinds of stuff, sightseeing around the city (Mazatlan). I will post pictures if I ever figure out how to get them out of my camera. :)

During the holiday Daddy had a lot of time to be a Daddy and that was both wonderful and awful at the same time. I had to wear diapers the whole time and that's something I have mixed feelings about. I mean I love them when it's private and snuggly at bedtime but when you put them with a thin cotton strappy sundress they just don't work. LOL.

So I got lots of little girl time which was fun. He gave me several bubble baths in the hotel tub that was huge like a swimming pool! And there were a lot of afternoon naps which I hate when I'm at home but when you're in Mexico a sleep in the hot part of the afternoon is pretty nice. Also, I got to build castles on the beach and play in the water with Daddy and I loved that so much!

Another thing is that he had a lot of time to devote to discipline so I got spanked pretty regularly. That's another thing that's a mixed blessing. It's something I really don't like when I'm getting it but afterward makes me feel really special and loved. I got spanked for forgetting my sunscreen TWICE, and for leaving my shoes in the doorway, and for dawdling getting ready for bed, and for forgetting my vitamins, and for being late one time when I was at the hotel pool and supposed to come upstairs for lunch. So my bottom was kept really warm the whole time but the good thing was that we were away from home so he didn't have all the scariest of the implements with him and also he couldn't make me cry too loud because of the thin hotel room walls. Soooo that meant mostly old-fashioned over the knee bare bottom spankings with his hand.

Don't get me wrong and think that I don't take those kind of spankings seriously though because I do! Daddy is strong and his hand spankings hurt like CRAZY and they're also LONG, so they still are very effective. I guess they're just not as severe as some of his other punishments that have implements or tying and stuff like that. His hand spankings are more like he's punishing the littlest girl part of me. When he spanks me like that I feel embarrassed and I feel shy like he hasn't seen my bare bottom about a million times before! Those kinds of spankings work because they make me feel like I'm about two years old.

Overall it was a beautiful vacation and when we came home I kissed the dog and said "I missed you!!" and Daddy picked up his whippy cane and kissed it and said the same thing to it!! LOL. I did NOT miss Daddy's cane!

When we got back he said he missed it so much he should probably give me a caning right then just to reacquaint us but I begged him not to and he laughed at me and said he wouldn't do it after all. I think he just likes to know he can make me beg sometimes. :P

Now Daddy is back to work and I have two more days at home before I have to go back. So during that time I have to do a good job around the house and do my chore lists while Daddy is working so he'll be happy with me and leave that dratted cane in the basement where it belongs!!!

NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR

2006-06-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

One of the drawbacks of being a submissive little girl is that sometimes Daddies are WRONG. Sometimes they make mistakes and punish you for stuff you didn't do. That happened to me yesterday and I talked to Daddy about it today because I was MAD and he didn't even say sorry. He said that it's MY fault because I haven't always told him the truth so he doesn't know that he can trust me and just has to rely on his instincts.

OK, I'll give him the point on that. I know I haven't always been completely upfront with him about everything but I've been trying to do better with that and this time I really didn't lie and yet I got a full punishment for lying even though I didn't lie. Not fair!

What I did was tell him that I wanted permission to go out with Kristen on Thursday night for dinner and then to come home by 9:00. He said I could go, no problem, but when Kristen picked me up she wanted to go to a club after dinner, not to drink but to check if her purse was there because she thought she left it there the night before. So after we ate we just ran into the club to see if anyone found her purse and then we went home, but one of Daddy's friends saw us and told him we were hanging out at the club!! And when I told Daddy THE TRUTH about what happened he said he didn't believe me because of the other time I lied to him about where I was going and so I got punished. BADLY.

He took off all my clothes and put the clothespins on my nipples and by itself is a horrible punishment. We have those awful old wooden ones with the springs and because they're so old the springs are TIGHT. That had my crying right off the bat and then he made me lie down over the spanking horse which put more pressure on my nipples and it hurt so bad that I couldn't help myself from trying to pull them off so he tied my hands so I couldn't do it again. Then he used his belt on me, on my legs and back and mostly my bottom. After that he put in the biggest bottom plug and made me stay there on the table for a long time just crying shaking while he talked to me about trust and honesty.

After all that he took the clothespins off but not the plug and made me go to bed for the whole afternoon and night with the plug in, so I was in bed from about 5:00 in the evening until this morning. I was so mad!

This morning Daddy wasn't upset with me anymore and he kissed me and hugged me and told me he loved me and I told him that I WAS MAD AT HIM instead. He listened to what I told him and said that I can't expect him to take my word for things when I choose to lie sometimes and that being punished that way last night was what I deserved if I lied last night or if I didn't lie but gave him reason to think I did. And that just SUCKS. I've been sulking ever since and Daddy says we'll go out for dinner tonight and spend some romantic time together. He also says we'll work more on getting the trust back so that he can take my word for stuff in the future. I don't know how I'm supposed to work on that since I didn't do anything wrong but I guess we'll see.

Hmph.

Maintenance

2006-04-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

This afternoon my Daddy said I was getting maintenance. We do maintenance every other Saturday afternoon and the point of maintenance is to partly to punish me for the things I didn't get caught for during the last two weeks but also mostly just to remind me that I belong to him and that I have to obey him because my body is his to do with as he wants. Some parts of maintenance are Daddy/little girl and some parts of it are Dom/sub. So it depends on what kind of mood he's in what happens to me during maintenance and it also depends what my behavior has been like in the last two weeks because sometimes maintenance also has reminders in it for the things I got punished for most recently. Maintenance is also a test of my obedience and submission because he usually tells me to do things that are hard to do and if I don't do them quickly and to the best of my ability then I'll get disobedience punishment on top of maintenance and getting punished on top of a punishment is just about the worst thing there is.

So the first thing was that he took off all my clothes. When he undresses me I'm not allowed to resist. Then he made me lie face down on the bed over the pillows which usually means a spanking but it didn't mean it quite yet, this time. Instead he put Bengay on my bottom hole and then put in the plug. He does that with a firm smooth push that HURTS because it opens me up really quickly and after that the burn from the Bengay starts.

The he made me go to the corner and stand with the plug in for twenty minutes and while I was there I was supposed to think about my behavior and also my committment to him and what that means. I did that the best I could even though the burning in my bottom was really distracting!

Then after twenty minutes was over he brought me back to the bed and made me lie down again on the pillows. He tied my arms and legs spread out to the corners of the bed. Being tied always scares me and it's something he is working on with me so that I learn to trust him with it. So after he tied me he talked me through the breathing so that I wouldn't panic and made me breathe only when he said so because otherwise I sometimes hyperventilate.

After I was breathing slower he gave me my maintenance spanking and this time it was with his hand first and then my hairbrush. The hairbrush is a small wooden brush that hurts like crazy and I hollered until my throat hurt and I was howling and crying. Then finally when that was over I got six licks with his belt, four across my bare bottom and the last two across the tops of my thighs. Those thigh ones are the worst and I bawled.

After the spanking was done he untied me and flipped me on my back and told me I was going to cum now with the bottom plug in and that if I didn't obey him and cum fast I would be punished again. He started to tease my clit with his fingers and then his tongue and it felt so good but I was also having pain from the big plug and Bengay plus my bottom was burning from the spanking and he didn't give me any time to recover before he started so I just couldn't cum fast enough.

When ten minutes had passed I was so close, I was twisting around under his fingers and panting and so nearly there but it wasn't good enough because as far as he was concerned I had disobeyed. And so I got dragged back across his lap and got six more hard swats with the hairbrush. I screamed! A spanking on top of a spanking hurts a million times worse. I couldn't help kicking and trying to get away.

Then he rolled me back on my back again and asked if I was going to obey him right now and I cried and said yes yes yes I'm trying. And he said I was going to cum right away in the next two minutes or go for another spanking and I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth and when he touched me again I came almost immediately screaming and crying and gasping.

After that he turned me back on my stomach and removed the bottom plug and then entered me himself, doggystyle (not in my bottom this time, guess he didn't want the Bengay on his tender parts! LOL) and I came again during this part.

Phew, that's my maintenance for this two weeks. Now I just have to keep out of trouble while the hairbrush welts are healing.

Better Late Than Never

2006-03-18T17:09:00.000-08:00

I haven't written here in a long time but now I'm going to, thanks to a nudge from a friend. Better late than never I'm telling her, and I'm also saying it to my Daddy but he disagrees.

Today I got in major trouble for missing curfew on Friday night. It was St. Patrick's Day and I went out with a big group of friends. Daddy decided not to come because he wasn't feeling well and he gave me a 1:00am curfew. This was actually pretty generous because I usually have to be home at 11:00 or midnight when he's not with me.

Anyway, what ended up happening was that one of our friends disappeared partway through the night and when it came time to leave, the designated driver had to spend about 45 minutes wandering all over the bar trying to find her. So the rest of us just sat in the car and waited but we were kinda crocked so it didn't seem like that long.

By the time I got home it was almost 2:00 and Daddy was really worried and mad because I didn't call him. But of course I didn't realise how much time had passed and didn't think of it. Duh. Also, in my half-crocked state I thought it was funny to say, "Better late than never", which he didn't find even slightly amusing.

He made me go to bed then which is kind of too bad because if he'd punished me right then it wouldn't have hurt so much. But he waited til morning and then when I got up, he let me drink a coffee and eat a piece of toast before he said we were going to talk about last night.

He sent me to the punishment room which is just our spare room but it's where he keeps all the spanking things all the other evil stuff he uses on me. In that room there's a bed and a wooden chair for spankings and a dresser full of nasties. In the punishment room he gave a huge long lecture about curfew and calling when I'm going to be late and I started to cry before he even touched me. Then he pulled down my jeans and panties and pulled me across his lap on the spanking chair.

He totally whaled on my butt with his hand first and then after I thought I couldn't take anymore of that he stopped and pulled his belt out through the loops. Oh my god, I got such a licking. I screamed my head off and bawled and he still didn't stop til I was totally roasted. When I've done something really bad he doesn't have a whole lot of mercy.

After that he put me in the corner with my panties around my ankles and told me I had two minutes to stop crying or he'd spank me again. I choked and swallowed and quit crying as fast as I could because I sure didn't want another round with his belt OR his hand, and then after I'd stopped crying out loud, he made me stand there while he got the enema stuff ready.

After that he put the pillows on the bed and made me lie down on my stomach with my butt up in the air. He put vaseline around my bottomhole and then put in the nozzle really deep and hung the bag on the hook above the bed. I started to cry again and he swatted my sore sore bum and told me stop right now. So I did even though my bottom was stinging like CRAZY. It's amazing how you can control yourself when you're going to get whipped if you don't.

Then he opened the valve on the enema and it started coming into me really fast. That's how punishment enemas go, really fast like that. Sometimes he gives me different kinds of other enemas for pleasure or for health but those ones are much easier to take. This one was coming into me fast and it wasn't very warm either and it had soap in it. The colder soapy ones make stomach cramps which I guess is the point, and it really sucks. He made me take a whole full bag. Partway through I got another spank for wiggling but I couldn't help it because I was cramping so bad but it's still a rule no matter what. So when I moved he spanked me twice with his hand, once on each cheek and said, "You stop moving right now or you'll take another trip across my lap, little girl." So I stopped moving even though I could barely stand it and took deep breaths and cried silently.

When I had the whole bag inside me he put in the plug and gave me my line book. I had to write, "I will not miss curfew without calling for permission" fifty times!! During that time the enema was working like crazy inside me. My stomach was pushed out far like I was pregnant and it was hurting hurting hurting. So the whole time I wrote the lines I was twisting inside and still crying silently and trying to write as fast as I could but neatly so I wouldn't have to do it over again.

When I finished he took FOREVER looking over the lines before he finally said they were good enough and that I could go to the bathroom. He made me bend over in front of him and pulled out the plug slowly. I ran like a jackrabbit to the bathroom!!

After I got rid of allllll that water, I came back to the punishment room. I'd finally stopped crying and Daddy was sitting on the bed waiting for me. He took my hand and pulled me to him and I sat on his knee. He said he hoped I learned something, and boy did I. I promised never to worry him like that again, and then he snuggled me up close and I started to cry again. He snuggled me tight while I cried and rocked me like a baby for a long long time. After that he carried me to the bathroom and ran a big bath and washed me all over.

Then when I was all clean, he dried me and carried me back to our bed. He used the vaseline on my bottomhole again, but this time it was preparing me for something much more pleasant. :) After an hour of yummy lovemaking I was teary and shaky again but this time in a good way. That man knows what he's doing. Whew.

Tonight I have to go to bed right after dinner as part of my punishment which I HATE so I'm hoping dinner will be late. My butt is feeling pretty tender and I am feeling certain I will NEVER make that mistake again. "Better late than never" is NOT an expression that will be rolling off my tongue again in the future.

Caning

2006-02-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

I was reading an interesting proposition in Anna's Daddy's blog today.

Here's the gist:

He wants Anna to let him cane her. She's scared of the cane. He promised not to cane her because she's scared but he's hoping she will one day change her mind.

So he offered her the option to trade in one whole BIG spanking in exchange for one cane stroke!!!

This blew my mind. What a great deal!

I get caned, and I was terrified of it at first too. But here's the thing. My Daddy never offered me any kind of "out" like that. He just said that I deserved a caning and so I got one!

I understand why Anna is scared of the cane. It's brutal when it's used roughly. I have had rough canings and moderate canings. The moderate ones, like what Anna's Daddy proposes (aka six of the best) aren't any worse than any other kind of spanking as long as the cane doesn't touch your thigh. And six is a manageable number. I won't lie and say it's easy because it's not. After six cane strokes you'll probably be crying, Anna, but it won't be any worse than the punishments you have now.

I've had severe canings too, because my Daddy and I go into some darker stuff sometimes. A harsh caning is more than six to start with, and it leaves welts that last for days. It can even cut. That's what I think Anna is scared of. But I don't think that's what Anna's Daddy is wanting to do. I think he just wants to give her a moderate caning so she will overcome her fear and learn to trust him even more.

I think you should do it, Anna. I'll hold your hand. ;)

Discipline Horse

2006-01-08T10:36:00.000-08:00

The Discipline Horse is a part of our BDSM lives that isn't ageplayish at all. No little girl would ever be made to straddle one of these things. Daddy keeps the Discipline Horse in the finished part of the basement and he covers it with a blanket most of the time because it's pretty obvious what it is, I think.

He made the Discipline Horse himself, but I think you can buy them too, not that I'm recommending it because I'm not! When Daddy tells me I have to get on the Horse, it's because I've done something really naughty and I'm in BIG trouble. Not little girl, spank-your-bottom kind of trouble, but whole-body grown-up serious trouble.

This part of our life is more like Dom/sub stuff, or even Master/slave, but we don't call ourselves that. It's still kind of a carry-over from Daddy/little girl, but the Discipline Horse is reserved for BIG TROUBLE and when he disciplines me there he isn't very Daddyish with me.

For example, when I get in little girl trouble, Daddy talks to me like a little girl. He says, "You've been naughty, young lady, and Daddy loves you too much to let you get away with that." So, even though I'm getting my bottom blistered, Daddy still talks to me sweetly and it's not scary even when it hurts like crazy.

On the Discipline Horse, he isn't sweet with me. He's only strict and it's big-time scary even though I trust him. Daddy doesn't make me go on the Discipline Horse very often but when he does, it's because I have misbehaved a lot of times in a row or because I have done something very VERY bad. I was very scared he would make me go on it this weekend because of the bad week I had, but he didn't. The last time he made me go on the Horse it was because I lied to him about where I went when I was out with my friends. I didn't want to tell him the name of the bar we went to because he hates that place and I'm not supposed to go there. So I told him the name of a different bar that he doesn't mind me going to. Then, a couple of days later, one of my friends phoned and talked to him and mentioned where we were. I was in huge trouble for that.

He made me go downstairs in the basement to wait for him. When he tells me to do that it means I am supposed to take off all my clothes, everything, and sit on the chair to wait. It's kind of cold in the basement even though it's finished down there and I always shiver while I am waiting for him even though I know that's partly from fear too.

When he came downstairs, he made me lean over the Horse. It's kind of like a wooden table, but the edges are all rounded so there's no sharp parts. And it's just above my waist height so when I lean over it my bottom is lifted up high. It has leg cuffs and wrist cuffs and when he made me lean over the table, he did up all the cuffs so I couldn't move. The leg cuffs are far apart so when you're strapped into them you're spread open. There's also a big strap that goes across the middle and he added that later because he found out that even with my arms and legs pinned down I could still wiggle too much. So after he did up the cuffs he strapped me down too. That's a scary feeling, if you've never experienced it, being completely unable to move, especially when you know that you did something bad and your Daddy is angry with you.

Sometimes on the Discipline Horse I get gagged and blindfolded too. This time he didn't do that, though. Sometimes he wants me to see what he's doing so I can be scared and sometimes he likes to hear me cry, I think. So, he started with the rubber flogger. I think it's actually made from recycled tires. It looks like it anyway. He ran the rubber flogger over my whole body from just below the shoulders all the way to the backs of my knees, focusing a long time on my bottom. I screamed so loud that I'm surprised no one called the cops. And like I said, he wasn't talking to me sweetly when he did this. He was saying, "You will NOT (flog) LIE (flog) TO (flog) ME (flog) EVER (flog) EVER (flog) EVER (flog) AGAIN! (flog) DO (flog) YOU (flog) UNDERSTAND (flog) ME (flog)? And so on like that. It doesn't take long with that kind of punishment to be begging and pleading and crying but when I'm on the Discipline Horse it's like he can't hear my pleas.

When I get punished like that, there's a point where my mind and my body kind of disconnect and it's almost like I can't feel what's happening anymore. I mean, I can, but my body starts to send out so much endorphin or something that the pain changes. I guess that's what people call sub-space. I was totally there after a little while. You can tell because at first, my body is resisting the pain, straining against the cuffs and tensing up, even though I can't get away it's like I'm trying to. Then, when I start to get in that place, my body is more relaxed. I stop fighting what's happening to me and just absorb it and cry and cry and cry.

After he was done with the flogger he got out the cane. The cane is the thing that scares me more than anything else, probably because of all those spank-videos I've watched where I see girls getting the cane and it's cutting right into their skin. Daddy has never actually drawn blood with his cane but it still scares me to death. When he got that out I snapped right out of the sub-space place and started hollering begging him not to use it on me and pulling on the restraints. I've only had the cane a few times in my life (five now) and I don't know if it really hurts the worst or not but I'm so scared of it that it sure seems like it. Then he told me that I was going to get six strokes with the cane and that if I didn't stop screaming RIGHT NOW he would make it ten. So I stopped screaming but I couldn't really stop the crying. So then I got six strokes on my bottom with his cane. Between each stroke he would squeeze my bottom and rub the stripe. It's hard to explain how a cane feels but it's totally different than being spanked with a flat surface, like a paddle or a flogger or even a hand. It's like it doesn't hurt right away. The cane is light and small so when it lands you almost have a couple of seconds before it sinks in. Then, when it does sink in, it's like a strip of FIRE and you do a little dance if you're able to move, or if you're strapped to the Horse you just writhe internally and scream your head off. He is good at using his cane. When I look in the mirror afterward I have five perfectly spaced, red horizontal stripes. The sixth one is a diagonal that crosses the other five. It's funny that when it's over I feel proud of those marks even though I hate hate hate hate hate hate getting them.

After the cane, he undid the cuffs and put me on the Edge. That's another of Daddy's inventions, and it sits in the basement along with the Horse. It's a much smaller thing, and kind of sharp. When I say sharp, I don't mean sharp like cutting-sharp. It's just an edge that isn't rounded. It's another wooden table-construction that's kind of shaped like a triangle with the point facing up. When I go on the Edge, it means that I'm straddled over it, with one leg on each side, hands bound behind me, and the Edge is touching my girl parts. The way the table is built, I can stand on my tiptoes over the Edge and it doesn't really touch me, but if I go down on the flats of my feet, it puts pressure on my girl parts, kind of cutting into me. When I say cutting, I don't mean it's drawing blood or anything. I just mean, it's putting the weight of my body on that part of me, so it's kind of painful and really sensitive the longer I do it.

I guess it's sort of like those awful games on Survivor where they make people stand on wobbly things, except that when you're straddling the Edge, the reward for staying tiptoe isn't food - it's that your girl parts don't hurt. But your calves do. Or, if you rest your calves, your girl parts carry the weight and hurt. The thing is that standing on your tiptoes for a long time is impossible. Trust me about this if you haven't tried, it's impossible.

So, he put me on the Edge, and blindfolded me, which was just plain mean. When I'm on the Edge, my girl parts get really red and irritated and sore after awhile and my calves do too. It's impossible to keep either part from hurting. It's just about deciding which part can take more punishment at any given moment. After fifteen minutes on the Edge, you end up pretty sore and kind of bruised between your legs. While Daddy made me sit on the Edge, he stood beside me and talked to me about how I had let him down by lying to him. He told me that I must never lie to him again. I was crying while I was sitting up there. Partly it was the pain and partly it was just knowing that I had done something so naughty and hating to make my Daddy angry and disappointed with me. One thing about my punishments with Daddy is that he never tells me what to expect. I mean, he never tells me how many spanks I'm going to get (except with the cane) or how long I'm going to sit on the Edge or stand in the corner. He doesn't tell me so I never know whether it's going to last a long time or a little while. He says he doesn't tell me because he doesn't know himself. He decides as he goes, based on my reactions.

After about fifteen minutes on the Edge, Daddy took me down and released me. My back hurt from the flogger and from balancing, my legs hurt, my bottom hurt, and my pussy hurt. This is why this kind of punishment can only happen once in awhile. It's really serious and it's really painful in the kind of way that makes a person wonder why on earth they ever decided to get into this lifestyle!

Then Daddy carried me upstairs to the bedroom. In the bedroom he told me he loved me and forgave me for being naughty, and he stroked my sore body all over and kissed and licked my bruised and swollen girl parts. I should explain that orgasm feels different when you're hurting in that place. It takes a long time to get there because you are desensitized and when you get closer it starts to hurt more and more and more even as it feels better and better and better. So you get an orgasm that is a weird mix of excruciating pain and intense pleasure. Very powerful.

So that describes a couple of the many uses of the Discipline Horse, Daddy's own brilliant and evil invention. It has other uses too, which I will talk about another time.

Week in Review

2006-01-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

When I'm about to be in big trouble, Daddy sometimes says, "I don't think many little girls would want to be wearing your panties right now, little girl."

This was one of those weeks when you wouldn't want to be wearing my panties because if you were wearing my panties this week you would find that you weren't wearing them very often. More often they would be down around the backs of your knees. This was a hard week.

I don't know why sometimes I go through periods like that when I can't do anything right. Sometimes I can really focus and behave myself and go for even a couple of weeks without getting into trouble for anything. Then other times I have weeks like this one when I'm in trouble all the time.

The thing about Daddy is that he is strict. I mean he is STRICT!!!! But he is also really fair and really predictable about discipline. I never get in trouble for things I don't know are wrong and I always get a warning about things before I get punished, if I didn't know I was doing something I'm not allowed. But if I do something I have been warned about already, there is no excuse and I'm in for it. That's the other thing about him, it doesn't matter if I got spanked yesterday or even if I got spanked five minutes ago. If I earned a spanking I'm getting one and he doesn't care if it's right on top of the one before. Daddy thinks that being consistent is the most important thing and I agree with him when I'm not upside down.

This week unfolded like this:

Monday: Spanked! I got caught giving the dog some food off my plate and that is something that Daddy has told me not to do about a million times. I'm not allowed to do it because I'm supposed to eat everything on my plate and also because it's not good for the dog to eat people food. So in the middle of dinner I got taken to the bedroom, he pulled down my panties and spanked me with my hairbrush. Then after that he made me sit back down on the hard kitchen chair and eat the rest of my dinner which was cold by then. Yuck. You can bet I didn't complain though!

Tuesday: Spanked! On Tuesday I locked the bathroom door while I was having a bath. I'm not allowed to lock ANY doors in the house except the front door. That's because Daddy is allowed to go in whatever room he wants to whenever he wants to. I'm not supposed to lock him out. I didn't even mean to lock the bathroom door, it was just a mistake. But he's told me not to do that a LOT of times so I got another spanking that day. He used the screwdriver to open the bathroom door while I was in the bathtub and then suddenly he was standing above me and grabbed me and yanked me out of the water and said "How many times have I told you not to lock this door?" and then he sat down on the toilet lid and put the bathtowel from the rack across his lap to keep his pants dry and then he pulled me across his lap naked and spanked the daylights out of me with his hand. Spankings hurt a LOT more when you're wet if you didn't know.

Wednesday: Spanked again!!!! On Wednesday I came home later from work than I thought I would and I forgot to call and tell Daddy that I was running late. That's another longstanding rule because he worries about me when I'm late. He always calls to tell me when he's going to be late too. I know it's a good rule and it makes sense but I just forgot. So when I got home he was standing in the doorway looking worried and mad. And I just burst into tears right on the doorstep because I knew I was in trouble again. And Daddy picked me up and took me to the bedroom and he cuddled me for a long time and kissed me and said he was only upset because he loves me and worries when I'm late and then after lots of cuddling I felt better, and then he said I was still going to get a spanking because it was a rule that I KNOW is important and have known it for a long long time. So on Wednesday he pulled up my skirt and pulled my panties down and gave me a paddling with his wooden paddle. That thing STINGS like crazy and I cried my eyes out. That night Daddy also made me go to bed at 8:00 for punishment.

Thursday: Finally I made it through a day without a spanking. Thank goodness there was ONE.

Friday: Spanked. Last night I got the wooden spoon. The wooden spoon is one of the worst kinds of spanking. Because it's small, it puts all sting in one small really PAINFUL spot each time. The wooden spoon is what Daddy uses when I'm mouthy with him. You wouldn't think I'd have the guts to be mouthy after the week I'd just had but I was feeling so tired and grouchy that I just spoke without thinking when he told me we were going to bed early that night I said, "No." and he said, "I beg your pardon?" which should have warned me to shut my mouth but I was feeling ornery and not paying attention and I said, "You go if you want to." Well I'm certainly not allowed to talk to him like that and I know it too so it wasn't really a surprise when he hauled me to the kitchen, washed my mouth out with soap, and then grabbed the spoon from the drawer and pulled out a chair. Then sat down and gave me a long hard spanking with the wooden spoon and then made me stand in the corner for a half hour afterward.

What a week!

Today I had a nice conversation with Daddy about my behavior this week and I promised to try harder to be a good girl. Daddy thinks there's no such thing as accidents. He thinks when I'm so naughty it's because I really NEED the spankings he gives me. I don't know if I agree with that. I guess I might need them but I definitely don't WANT them. I'm going to have to do better this week so my poor bum can recover. It needs at least a week of good behavior out of me so I can sit without wincing.

Enema

2006-01-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

My online friend, Ireland's daughter, (http://stickandcarrot.blogspot.com/) wrote something about this a little while ago and it made me think about my experience with it.

She said she gets tending enemas and also punishment enemas and this is the same as me. My Daddy gives me both kinds too. He gives me tending ones all the time because he enjoys taking care of me like that. He makes those kinds warm and puts the water in slowly and doesn't make me hold it a long time. He likes to turn me over after all the water is in and then he touches my girl parts and kisses me and he says I can get rid of the water soon as I be a good girl and show him how much I like being taken care of. It never takes long.

The punishment kind is pretty hard to take. He uses castille soap that you can buy at the drug store and he fills up the enema bag as full as it can go. Those ones he makes go in really fast and it makes me get tummy cramps and he makes me hold it for a long time, usually fifteen minutes. And that kind sometimes makes me cry because it hurts inside my stomach and also because I get bottom swats if I don't keep still and that's really really really hard to do when your tummy is full of soapy water. Sometimes he still turns me over and touches me during punishment enema but he doesn't do it long enough to let me finish, he just teases me and then stops and says naughty girls don't get to have fun like that. Sometimes he makes me stand in the corner and that's the hardest thing to stand up and hold all that water. Sometimes when I have a punishment enema I get a spanking while I'm holding the water and then he puts in the plug to hold it. That kind of spanking is awful! But at least it takes your mind off your tummy for a bit. Other times I get the spanking first and then the enema and Daddy makes me look at my bottom in the mirror so I can see what he did to me and what he's doing now.

After I get those kind of punishments I always feel better after it's all over like I'm all clean inside of me. I even feel clean inside my heart. I love how my Daddy makes me feel that way.

Trouth Mubbles

2005-12-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

I wasn't raised using good grammar and proper English. My parents swore all the time and they didn't care if we did either. I didn't do too well in school and I didn't really try very hard to learn how to write because I didn't care about it.

Spelling and grammar and using proper English are all things that Daddy cares about very much and I get into trouble when I don't do my best. He understands that I make honest mistakes sometimes but when he can tell that I'm just not trying he gets mad. Especially when I swear! It's really hard because I spend lots of time around people who talk like that, with bad words and poor English and so I start to pick up their way of talking.

Yesterday I said something really stupid and Daddy got mad because it was something he's already told me lots of times not to say. I won't even type it here because I'm trying to get it out of my head forever so I never say it again. Anyway, he gave me a chance to say it right but I just wasn't clued in at all so I totally didn't realise what he was saying. I just looked at him like, "Huh?" and then he got all serious and he took my arm and pulled me into the bathroom. He sat down on the toilet lid and squirted a bunch of Softsoap on the washcloth and then he washed my mouth out from the very back to the front and he made me stick out my tongue to clean it too, and the roof of my mouth as well. It was sooooo gross. I gagged and cried too and then I tried to pull away from him which always just makes it worse and so he flipped up my nightgown and spanked me right there in the bathroom for resisting because I'm not allowed to do that.

The he made me stand in the corner with my nose touching the wall and holding up my nightgown for about half an hour. I felt sick from the taste of the soap and I wanted to scream at him but that is NEVER a good idea. Then when he finally felt that I'd learned my lesson he brought me out of the corner and took me to bed and there he was very VERY nice to me. :D

"Parking"

2005-11-21T12:51:00.000-08:00

I got parked this weekend. I hate parking the most of Daddy's punishments while it's happening because it truly scares me. But afterward when I think about it I get all tingly inside.

Being "parked" comes from Daddy's expression, "You park youself right there and think about what you've done." Except the problem is that I'm really no good at parking myself. I can't stay still very long and I get distracted easily.

So Daddy figured out early on that if he really needs me to be still and think, he needs to do the parking for me. So being parked means that he takes off all my clothes and ties me up really tight so I can't move at all. Usually he ties me in a way so I feel very exposed. It's kind of a sensory deprivation experience to keep me focused, because he also blindfolds me and sometimes gags me too. Then he puts me on the bed and leaves me parked for as long as he thinks I need to think about what I've done wrong.

This time what I did wrong was forget to take my cell phone with me when I was out.

Anyway, he parked me for about an hour and when I'm parked I get all claustrophobic and panicky feeling sometimes, so I have to try and take deep breaths and stay relaxed. I also get scared when I'm blindfolded like that because I don't know if Daddy is in the room with me or if I'm alone. So I can't anticipate what's going to happen next.

The thing is that while I'm parked I'm not supposed to be thinking about being scared. I'm supposed to be thinking about why it's important to remember my cell phone, etc., so that when he decides the parking is done I can tell him what I've learned. If I don't have a good answer for that, I can expect to stay parked longer.

Sometimes when I'm parked I get a spanking while I'm tied up which is a VERY different feeling that getting spanked when you can move. Sometimes he also puts clothespins on my nipples which HURTS like crazy, or even clamps me in my girl parts.

Being parked sucks.

Shaving

2005-11-14T11:01:00.000-08:00

Daddy always keeps me clean-shaven. Most of the time I have baths instead of showers and most of the time Daddy sits on the edge of the bath while I'm in it and helps me get clean.

He likes to shave me every other day. At first this used to kind of irritate my skin and I didn't like it. But now he has been doing it for years and my skin doesn't mind at all. Sometimes I mind, though, because it's a little embarrassing!

He makes me stand up in bathtub and he puts liquid soap on my girl parts and runs the razor over me, zip zip, fast and easy. That part isn't so bad. The hard part is that sometimes he makes me stand still while he checks his work to make sure he didn't miss any spot and then he pulls back the outside parts and runs soapy fingers all over to check that there's not one stray hair that got forgotten. He makes me lean over and touch my toes so that he can examine my girl parts from behind and check again.

Being clean-shaven is an important part of being Daddy's little girl.

The Worst Spanking

2005-11-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

The Worst Spanking Daddy ever gave me was when I was 19 and he was 31. We had just started living together and I was learning the rules. I didnt call him Daddy yet then, I just called him by his name. And sometimes Sir when he was talking to me strictly.

Daddy didnt spank me until we lived together and the worst one ever was only my third one. I remember the first ones really clearly because they were so surprising. I had not ever been spanked before in my whole life.

The first time was was for being mouthy. That time I told him to shut up. And he said he would spank me if I ever talked to him like that again. I said, "you would not!!" and then he hauled me over his lap right there in our new apartment with the unpacked boxes everywhere and gave me a bare bottom spanking while he sat on a box. He spanked me with his hand that time and it did hurt but it was also short and quick and I was more embarrassed and shocked than in a lot of pain.

The second time was more painful. That was a couple of weeks later after we had unpacked and that time was my first experience with the bathbrush. It was MY bathbrush from my last apartment and he took it from me after I got out of the shower one night and spanked me because I had left my clothes on the floor instead of in the laundry hamper after he told me not to. That bathbrush HURT. It was light wood though, I think pine, and so it stung a lot but didn't leave marks. After that spanking, Daddy told me that I had better get used to being bottom up over his lap until I learned to behave better. I was still pretty new to age play and I wasn't totally happy about it either. I wasnt really sure I wanted to live this life after all.

I was even thinking about moving back out.

Then the third spanking. The worst one ever, even up until now, maybe 200 spankings later.

After that second spanking I was MAD. I took that bathbrush of mine and threw it in the trash. I burried it at the very bottom of the bag and it went out at the end of the week never to be seen again. When Daddy noticed it was missing, that was what got me the tanning of a lifetime. He asked me where it was and I said I threw it out. He asked me why and I said it was MINE to do with what I wanted.

Daddy took me to the shopping mall and made me find a new bathbrush. He didnt like the pine ones like the one I had before. Instead he made me buy the heavy one, oak maybe, that was all solid and one piece and really thick. He made me go to the counter and pay for it while he watched me and I was so embarrassed. I felt sure the cashier knew what it was for.

Then we got home and Daddy made me take off all my clothes and get into the bathtub. He used the bathbrush to wash my back and bottom and scrub me gently all over. I knew what was coming.

After the bath he took me to the bedroom and made me lie across his lap on the bed with my hands pinned behind my back and he whaled on my poor bottom with that new brush until I was screaming and bawling and begging him to stop. I realised then that nothing in our new life was MINE to whatever I wanted with. Everything was going to need his approval and permission. My bottom was bright red that night and bruised for several days afterward to remind me every time I sat down.

That night when Daddy came to bed he held me in his arms and I called him Daddy for the first time.

Washing out with soap

2005-11-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

This morning Daddy washed my mouth out with soap because i said "damn". He put the liquid soap on the washcloth and made me open my mouth wide and then he scrubbed inside it the way i usually wash my face round and round in little circles. i was angry and got tears in my eyes but i didn't say anything else naughty because that would have made it worse. After he let me sit on his lap and brushhed my hair for me.

Being Little

2005-11-01T15:09:00.000-08:00

Being little is what makes me happiest. Littler than normal because i'm already kinda little. :D

i have a Daddy who is also my live in b/f. He is 12 years older than me which is goodb ecause it makes me feel even younger and littler. Daddy is also smart and has a great job so he takes care of me and i get to be his princess and take care of his house and his Daddy-needs.

Daddy needs to be in charge of me so he gets to say when i go to bed and what i eat and when i'm allowed to go out and play and when i hafta stay home and be grounded. Daddy also spanks me when i'm naughty and grounds me and other things like that --- i'll tell more about them later.