Sunday, January 08, 2006

Discipline Horse

The Discipline Horse is a part of our BDSM lives that isn't ageplayish at all. No little girl would ever be made to straddle one of these things. Daddy keeps the Discipline Horse in the finished part of the basement and he covers it with a blanket most of the time because it's pretty obvious what it is, I think.

He made the Discipline Horse himself, but I think you can buy them too, not that I'm recommending it because I'm not! When Daddy tells me I have to get on the Horse, it's because I've done something really naughty and I'm in BIG trouble. Not little girl, spank-your-bottom kind of trouble, but whole-body grown-up serious trouble.

This part of our life is more like Dom/sub stuff, or even Master/slave, but we don't call ourselves that. It's still kind of a carry-over from Daddy/little girl, but the Discipline Horse is reserved for BIG TROUBLE and when he disciplines me there he isn't very Daddyish with me.

For example, when I get in little girl trouble, Daddy talks to me like a little girl. He says, "You've been naughty, young lady, and Daddy loves you too much to let you get away with that." So, even though I'm getting my bottom blistered, Daddy still talks to me sweetly and it's not scary even when it hurts like crazy.

On the Discipline Horse, he isn't sweet with me. He's only strict and it's big-time scary even though I trust him. Daddy doesn't make me go on the Discipline Horse very often but when he does, it's because I have misbehaved a lot of times in a row or because I have done something very VERY bad. I was very scared he would make me go on it this weekend because of the bad week I had, but he didn't. The last time he made me go on the Horse it was because I lied to him about where I went when I was out with my friends. I didn't want to tell him the name of the bar we went to because he hates that place and I'm not supposed to go there. So I told him the name of a different bar that he doesn't mind me going to. Then, a couple of days later, one of my friends phoned and talked to him and mentioned where we were. I was in huge trouble for that.

He made me go downstairs in the basement to wait for him. When he tells me to do that it means I am supposed to take off all my clothes, everything, and sit on the chair to wait. It's kind of cold in the basement even though it's finished down there and I always shiver while I am waiting for him even though I know that's partly from fear too.

When he came downstairs, he made me lean over the Horse. It's kind of like a wooden table, but the edges are all rounded so there's no sharp parts. And it's just above my waist height so when I lean over it my bottom is lifted up high. It has leg cuffs and wrist cuffs and when he made me lean over the table, he did up all the cuffs so I couldn't move. The leg cuffs are far apart so when you're strapped into them you're spread open. There's also a big strap that goes across the middle and he added that later because he found out that even with my arms and legs pinned down I could still wiggle too much. So after he did up the cuffs he strapped me down too. That's a scary feeling, if you've never experienced it, being completely unable to move, especially when you know that you did something bad and your Daddy is angry with you.

Sometimes on the Discipline Horse I get gagged and blindfolded too. This time he didn't do that, though. Sometimes he wants me to see what he's doing so I can be scared and sometimes he likes to hear me cry, I think. So, he started with the rubber flogger. I think it's actually made from recycled tires. It looks like it anyway. He ran the rubber flogger over my whole body from just below the shoulders all the way to the backs of my knees, focusing a long time on my bottom. I screamed so loud that I'm surprised no one called the cops. And like I said, he wasn't talking to me sweetly when he did this. He was saying, "You will NOT (flog) LIE (flog) TO (flog) ME (flog) EVER (flog) EVER (flog) EVER (flog) AGAIN! (flog) DO (flog) YOU (flog) UNDERSTAND (flog) ME (flog)? And so on like that. It doesn't take long with that kind of punishment to be begging and pleading and crying but when I'm on the Discipline Horse it's like he can't hear my pleas.

When I get punished like that, there's a point where my mind and my body kind of disconnect and it's almost like I can't feel what's happening anymore. I mean, I can, but my body starts to send out so much endorphin or something that the pain changes. I guess that's what people call sub-space. I was totally there after a little while. You can tell because at first, my body is resisting the pain, straining against the cuffs and tensing up, even though I can't get away it's like I'm trying to. Then, when I start to get in that place, my body is more relaxed. I stop fighting what's happening to me and just absorb it and cry and cry and cry.

After he was done with the flogger he got out the cane. The cane is the thing that scares me more than anything else, probably because of all those spank-videos I've watched where I see girls getting the cane and it's cutting right into their skin. Daddy has never actually drawn blood with his cane but it still scares me to death. When he got that out I snapped right out of the sub-space place and started hollering begging him not to use it on me and pulling on the restraints. I've only had the cane a few times in my life (five now) and I don't know if it really hurts the worst or not but I'm so scared of it that it sure seems like it. Then he told me that I was going to get six strokes with the cane and that if I didn't stop screaming RIGHT NOW he would make it ten. So I stopped screaming but I couldn't really stop the crying. So then I got six strokes on my bottom with his cane. Between each stroke he would squeeze my bottom and rub the stripe. It's hard to explain how a cane feels but it's totally different than being spanked with a flat surface, like a paddle or a flogger or even a hand. It's like it doesn't hurt right away. The cane is light and small so when it lands you almost have a couple of seconds before it sinks in. Then, when it does sink in, it's like a strip of FIRE and you do a little dance if you're able to move, or if you're strapped to the Horse you just writhe internally and scream your head off. He is good at using his cane. When I look in the mirror afterward I have five perfectly spaced, red horizontal stripes. The sixth one is a diagonal that crosses the other five. It's funny that when it's over I feel proud of those marks even though I hate hate hate hate hate hate getting them.

After the cane, he undid the cuffs and put me on the Edge. That's another of Daddy's inventions, and it sits in the basement along with the Horse. It's a much smaller thing, and kind of sharp. When I say sharp, I don't mean sharp like cutting-sharp. It's just an edge that isn't rounded. It's another wooden table-construction that's kind of shaped like a triangle with the point facing up. When I go on the Edge, it means that I'm straddled over it, with one leg on each side, hands bound behind me, and the Edge is touching my girl parts. The way the table is built, I can stand on my tiptoes over the Edge and it doesn't really touch me, but if I go down on the flats of my feet, it puts pressure on my girl parts, kind of cutting into me. When I say cutting, I don't mean it's drawing blood or anything. I just mean, it's putting the weight of my body on that part of me, so it's kind of painful and really sensitive the longer I do it.

I guess it's sort of like those awful games on Survivor where they make people stand on wobbly things, except that when you're straddling the Edge, the reward for staying tiptoe isn't food - it's that your girl parts don't hurt. But your calves do. Or, if you rest your calves, your girl parts carry the weight and hurt. The thing is that standing on your tiptoes for a long time is impossible. Trust me about this if you haven't tried, it's impossible.

So, he put me on the Edge, and blindfolded me, which was just plain mean. When I'm on the Edge, my girl parts get really red and irritated and sore after awhile and my calves do too. It's impossible to keep either part from hurting. It's just about deciding which part can take more punishment at any given moment. After fifteen minutes on the Edge, you end up pretty sore and kind of bruised between your legs. While Daddy made me sit on the Edge, he stood beside me and talked to me about how I had let him down by lying to him. He told me that I must never lie to him again. I was crying while I was sitting up there. Partly it was the pain and partly it was just knowing that I had done something so naughty and hating to make my Daddy angry and disappointed with me. One thing about my punishments with Daddy is that he never tells me what to expect. I mean, he never tells me how many spanks I'm going to get (except with the cane) or how long I'm going to sit on the Edge or stand in the corner. He doesn't tell me so I never know whether it's going to last a long time or a little while. He says he doesn't tell me because he doesn't know himself. He decides as he goes, based on my reactions.

After about fifteen minutes on the Edge, Daddy took me down and released me. My back hurt from the flogger and from balancing, my legs hurt, my bottom hurt, and my pussy hurt. This is why this kind of punishment can only happen once in awhile. It's really serious and it's really painful in the kind of way that makes a person wonder why on earth they ever decided to get into this lifestyle!

Then Daddy carried me upstairs to the bedroom. In the bedroom he told me he loved me and forgave me for being naughty, and he stroked my sore body all over and kissed and licked my bruised and swollen girl parts. I should explain that orgasm feels different when you're hurting in that place. It takes a long time to get there because you are desensitized and when you get closer it starts to hurt more and more and more even as it feels better and better and better. So you get an orgasm that is a weird mix of excruciating pain and intense pleasure. Very powerful.

So that describes a couple of the many uses of the Discipline Horse, Daddy's own brilliant and evil invention. It has other uses too, which I will talk about another time.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Week in Review

When I'm about to be in big trouble, Daddy sometimes says, "I don't think many little girls would want to be wearing your panties right now, little girl."

This was one of those weeks when you wouldn't want to be wearing my panties because if you were wearing my panties this week you would find that you weren't wearing them very often. More often they would be down around the backs of your knees. This was a hard week.

I don't know why sometimes I go through periods like that when I can't do anything right. Sometimes I can really focus and behave myself and go for even a couple of weeks without getting into trouble for anything. Then other times I have weeks like this one when I'm in trouble all the time.

The thing about Daddy is that he is strict. I mean he is STRICT!!!! But he is also really fair and really predictable about discipline. I never get in trouble for things I don't know are wrong and I always get a warning about things before I get punished, if I didn't know I was doing something I'm not allowed. But if I do something I have been warned about already, there is no excuse and I'm in for it. That's the other thing about him, it doesn't matter if I got spanked yesterday or even if I got spanked five minutes ago. If I earned a spanking I'm getting one and he doesn't care if it's right on top of the one before. Daddy thinks that being consistent is the most important thing and I agree with him when I'm not upside down.

This week unfolded like this:

Monday: Spanked! I got caught giving the dog some food off my plate and that is something that Daddy has told me not to do about a million times. I'm not allowed to do it because I'm supposed to eat everything on my plate and also because it's not good for the dog to eat people food. So in the middle of dinner I got taken to the bedroom, he pulled down my panties and spanked me with my hairbrush. Then after that he made me sit back down on the hard kitchen chair and eat the rest of my dinner which was cold by then. Yuck. You can bet I didn't complain though!

Tuesday: Spanked! On Tuesday I locked the bathroom door while I was having a bath. I'm not allowed to lock ANY doors in the house except the front door. That's because Daddy is allowed to go in whatever room he wants to whenever he wants to. I'm not supposed to lock him out. I didn't even mean to lock the bathroom door, it was just a mistake. But he's told me not to do that a LOT of times so I got another spanking that day. He used the screwdriver to open the bathroom door while I was in the bathtub and then suddenly he was standing above me and grabbed me and yanked me out of the water and said "How many times have I told you not to lock this door?" and then he sat down on the toilet lid and put the bathtowel from the rack across his lap to keep his pants dry and then he pulled me across his lap naked and spanked the daylights out of me with his hand. Spankings hurt a LOT more when you're wet if you didn't know.

Wednesday: Spanked again!!!! On Wednesday I came home later from work than I thought I would and I forgot to call and tell Daddy that I was running late. That's another longstanding rule because he worries about me when I'm late. He always calls to tell me when he's going to be late too. I know it's a good rule and it makes sense but I just forgot. So when I got home he was standing in the doorway looking worried and mad. And I just burst into tears right on the doorstep because I knew I was in trouble again. And Daddy picked me up and took me to the bedroom and he cuddled me for a long time and kissed me and said he was only upset because he loves me and worries when I'm late and then after lots of cuddling I felt better, and then he said I was still going to get a spanking because it was a rule that I KNOW is important and have known it for a long long time. So on Wednesday he pulled up my skirt and pulled my panties down and gave me a paddling with his wooden paddle. That thing STINGS like crazy and I cried my eyes out. That night Daddy also made me go to bed at 8:00 for punishment.

Thursday: Finally I made it through a day without a spanking. Thank goodness there was ONE.

Friday: Spanked. Last night I got the wooden spoon. The wooden spoon is one of the worst kinds of spanking. Because it's small, it puts all sting in one small really PAINFUL spot each time. The wooden spoon is what Daddy uses when I'm mouthy with him. You wouldn't think I'd have the guts to be mouthy after the week I'd just had but I was feeling so tired and grouchy that I just spoke without thinking when he told me we were going to bed early that night I said, "No." and he said, "I beg your pardon?" which should have warned me to shut my mouth but I was feeling ornery and not paying attention and I said, "You go if you want to." Well I'm certainly not allowed to talk to him like that and I know it too so it wasn't really a surprise when he hauled me to the kitchen, washed my mouth out with soap, and then grabbed the spoon from the drawer and pulled out a chair. Then sat down and gave me a long hard spanking with the wooden spoon and then made me stand in the corner for a half hour afterward.

What a week!

Today I had a nice conversation with Daddy about my behavior this week and I promised to try harder to be a good girl. Daddy thinks there's no such thing as accidents. He thinks when I'm so naughty it's because I really NEED the spankings he gives me. I don't know if I agree with that. I guess I might need them but I definitely don't WANT them. I'm going to have to do better this week so my poor bum can recover. It needs at least a week of good behavior out of me so I can sit without wincing.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Enema

My online friend, Ireland's daughter, (http://stickandcarrot.blogspot.com/) wrote something about this a little while ago and it made me think about my experience with it.

She said she gets tending enemas and also punishment enemas and this is the same as me. My Daddy gives me both kinds too. He gives me tending ones all the time because he enjoys taking care of me like that. He makes those kinds warm and puts the water in slowly and doesn't make me hold it a long time. He likes to turn me over after all the water is in and then he touches my girl parts and kisses me and he says I can get rid of the water soon as I be a good girl and show him how much I like being taken care of. It never takes long.

The punishment kind is pretty hard to take. He uses castille soap that you can buy at the drug store and he fills up the enema bag as full as it can go. Those ones he makes go in really fast and it makes me get tummy cramps and he makes me hold it for a long time, usually fifteen minutes. And that kind sometimes makes me cry because it hurts inside my stomach and also because I get bottom swats if I don't keep still and that's really really really hard to do when your tummy is full of soapy water. Sometimes he still turns me over and touches me during punishment enema but he doesn't do it long enough to let me finish, he just teases me and then stops and says naughty girls don't get to have fun like that. Sometimes he makes me stand in the corner and that's the hardest thing to stand up and hold all that water. Sometimes when I have a punishment enema I get a spanking while I'm holding the water and then he puts in the plug to hold it. That kind of spanking is awful! But at least it takes your mind off your tummy for a bit. Other times I get the spanking first and then the enema and Daddy makes me look at my bottom in the mirror so I can see what he did to me and what he's doing now.

After I get those kind of punishments I always feel better after it's all over like I'm all clean inside of me. I even feel clean inside my heart. I love how my Daddy makes me feel that way.